These guys don't need no stinkin' tax relief
DAVE SIMPSON & GREG BEAN Red State/Blue State

A political discussion between Red State conservative Dave Simpson - a former reporter, editor, publisher and columnist - and Greg Bean, Blue Stater and executive editor of GreaterMedia Newspapers. Let us know what you think.

Dear Greg:

Don't get me wrong, partner, I don't begrudge Hillary and Bill Clinton's $109 million income over the last six years.

Money-grubbing Republicans like me look at a number like that and shake our heads in speechless admiration, as if we were standing on the edge of the Grand Canyon, taking in the incredible beauty of it all. That kind of income for a couple that used to make $35,000 when he was governor of Arkansas is a regular Horatio Alger story.

As we used to say in Chicago, "Man, oh Manischewitz!''

Old Bill makes most of that money just talking to people, and giving them advice. Is this a great country, or what?

My problem with Hillary, and every other one of those free-spending Democrats you saddle up with lately, is that they all want to let President Beelzebub W. Bush's hated tax cuts expire, which would result in a huge tax increase.

Hill says she and Bill don't need the tax cut. Well, as my kids say, DUH! But, how about the rest of us? Hello? Anybody home in there? Some of us still need to hold onto more of our hard-earned money.

But, this is like when Warren Buffett says we don't pay enough taxes. Easy for Mr. Richest American, fly around in your own jet to say.

When I look at the price of gasoline, and what's happening on the stock market, and the price of a gallon of milk, I'll be darned if I can figure out how a tax increase will make things better. But your Democrat friends are all drinking the same old tax-and-spend, soak-the-rich beer, Greg.

Sounds like class warfare to me, old pal.

I don't know about you, Greg, but I'm starting to doubt whether Bill feels our pain anymore. He isn't alone, though.

Turns out the cloth-coat, meat-loaf-fordinner candidate this year is Barack Obama, who somehow figured out a way to scrape by on just a couple million dollars last year, thanks to his wife's $1 million salary, his senator pay, and his book income. I'll bet they're driving an eightyear old van with 138,000 miles on it just like mine, don't you think?

Barack is a lot closer to feeling our pain, I guess, but still not within several country miles.

Over on our side of the field, John Mc- Cain has a swell wife who is worth over $100 million. So they're probably not hitting the food pantries, either. You've got to hand it toMcCain, though. He got rich the old-fashioned way: he married into it, just like John Kerry.

As I said before, I don't begrudge anyone their riches. I'd just like some myself, and I can't figure out how the ding-dong heck tax increases help me get there. Maybe you can explain it to me, but remember to use short words and talk slow.

Meanwhile, I don't think we'll be running into any of these candidates in the checkout line at Wal-Mart.

Best wishes, Red State Dave

Dear Dave:

I know you regularly accuseme of being a liberal, and when we were working together out West, you gave me a lot of grief for being one of the handful of Democrats in the whole state.

I guess I thought I was a liberal in those days because I was surrounded by thousands of themost right-wing conservatives in the universe.

Then I moved to Massachusetts, found myself surrounded by real liberals and soon noticed I was usually themost conservative guy in the room. I suppose I should have gotten the hint when, during my job interview, my publisher asked which party I belonged to, because he said he didn't "want any damned Republicans running his newspapers."

It didn't takemore than amonth or two before I realized I wasn't a real liberal, and never had been one. I wasn't a knee-jerk conservative either, and I had to admit that neither party truly represented my beliefs of social liberalism (keep the government out of our bedrooms, away from our bodies and take care of our old people), and fiscal conservatism(I was a staunch supporter of efforts in that state to limit tax increases to 21/2 percent a year unless the voters approved an extra tax hike).

Throw inmy belief that the government has no right to restrict gun ownership (another vestige ofmyWestern upbringing) or what we build on our own private property, and you can see why I was truly confused.

I still am, buddy. In all the years I've been in this Blue State, I can't think of a single tax increase in any of the dozens of communities we cover that I've supported.

In reality, I have written dozens of columns and editorials saying that taxes at both the state and local level are completely out of control, and I have consistently advocated cutting the size of state and local governments so they don't spendmore than they bring in.

It's all spitting in the wind, because they don't listen to me. And neither do the feds. For the life of me, I can't figure out why we need tax increases when we have the money to fund hugely expensive wars, send everyone big economic stimulus checks and fund so many useless pork-barrel projects that there would be an actual tea-tossing revolution if the average American citizen knew the extent of the waste and fiscal carnage. So why, you keep asking, will I support the Democratic candidate in the next election? It's not like I think a limousine liberal like Obama feels my pain to any greater degree than any of the other rich, fat cats running for office.

I'll do it for two reasons. One, I am so angry at the Republicans for lying to us about weapons of mass destruction in Iraq and dragging us into this war under false pretenses that they certainly don't deserve my vote. I believe they deserve to be prosecuted. Two, the last time we had a balanced budget and a surplus was under a Democratic administration. I'm willing to give them another shot.

If that makes me a liberal, then I guess I am.

Hold fast,

Blue State Greg

You can reach Greg Bean via e-mail at gbean @gmnews.com. Dave Simpson can be reached at d_simpson@bresnan.net.