Danger lurks as youths head on to the Internet
Detective offers tips to parents to head off potential problems
BY AMY ROSEN Staff Writer
With the click of a computer mouse, people in other parts of the state, country or the world can steal, threaten and lure people into dangerous and sometimes even fatal situations. Children and teenagers very often fall victim to online predators who trick them into a false sense of friendship and subsequently lure them into circumstances that can change their lives forever.

The problem of Internet predators is something most parents have heard about and most children believe cannot affect them, according to Detective Robert M. Angelini of the Monmouth County Prosecutor's Office Computer Crimes Unit.

During a recent presentation in Monmouth County, Angelini said, "There are terrible instances that can occur via the Internet or using technology, but it's also the best tool your kids can have. It's going to help them immensely in their education and their lives."

He mentioned how students have access to the Internet even when they are not home. Many phones and video games now have Internet access and some allow players to actually hear each other's voices and to speak to each other with no control over the language used.

Angelini said children "don't think about the dangers because mostly every one of them feels like they are invincible and nothing can ever happen to them and no one could ever hurt them because they're smart enough that they would never get hurt by a predator."

Endangering the welfare of children is one of the most frequently investigated crimes over the Internet, he said. This includes child pornography; children getting seduced into meetings for sexual reasons; kidnapping; homicide; terroristic threats and bullying.

He said one in five children received sexual solicitations and one in 33 received aggressive sexual solicitations.An aggressive sexual solicitation means the person who contacted the youngster wanted more from them such as an in-person meeting, a phone call or a photo. One in four children had unwanted exposure to pornography and one in 17 were threatened or harassed. Less than 10 percent of those solicitations were reported to police and less than 25 percent were reported to parents. The majority of incidents occurred in Internet chat rooms.

There is blocking software that can help, but youngsters learn how to get around the blocks by going online and finding directions on how to do that.

He also discussed the dangers of chat rooms and explained how detectives monitor chat rooms by posing as 14-year-olds.

Angelini said predators may prey on children who feel their parents are too busy with their own lives to take the time to talk to them. The predator befriends them and gains their trust, becomes a confidant and eventually sets up a meeting. They even tell them lies to tell their parents.

Angelini also mentioned incidents in which teenage girls take illicit photographs of themselves and forward them to a boyfriend. When the couple breaks up the photos often end up circulating throughout the Internet. He said there is no way to delete the photos.

He advised parents to be involved in their child's computer activities and to discuss the dangers. Inappropriate advances should be copied in a separate file and printed and reported to the police or the computer crimes division.

Angelini also discussed the pitfalls of myspace.com and other sites that show profiles that list personal information. There are age requirements to sign up but children under 14 can lie about their age because there is no policing system and no one reads the rules. He said anyone can sign on to myspace.com and look at a person's page without their permission because it is all public knowledge. Parents can call (310) 258-2751 or

send an e-mail and tell the operators that the user identification is a child's and the service will shut them right down.

The detective also mentioned cyberbullying. When people are online they are anonymous. The bully also cannot see his or her victim and does not know if the victim is crying, so they keep going.

Cyber-bullying can come in the form of sending insulting messages, impersonating the victim making untrue statements in the name of that person, starting online fights, using vulgar language, harassment, and sharing secrets and posting themon the Internet for all to see.

Angelini said cyber stalking is repeated harassment and explained that it is illegal to stalk, harass or terrorize a person. Civil lawsuits can be brought against people who engage in the act of invasion of privacy, defamation of character and intentional infliction of emotional distress.

Angelini said some victims strike back at cyber bullying in a violent way. He said attention must be paid to those who have sites that talk of killing people, death or hurting themselves.

Sometimes the emotional distress caused by bullying is not always seen until it is too late. Children have been driven to suicide by the vicious actions and words of others.

Angelini said there is no absolute solution to all of the problems brought to light by Internet use. Forbidding a child from using a computer is not the answer because the child will go to a friend's house and use that person's computer.

He said good parenting is the key. Education, youth empowerment and parent involvement is important. Communication and interaction with one's child is most helpful. Be aware of what they are doing and make them aware of the dangers out there. Monitor the information they are putting out there and remind them of what can happen.

Know the warning signs of children heading for trouble. He suggested that parents look at the child's online profiles and those of their friends.
What parents can do:
• Get involved
talk to kids about the dangers of the Internet
• Keep computers out of bedrooms
computers with the Internet should be
in a public area of the house
• Monitor your child's online activities
check your child's blog
learn who is on their buddy list
let them know you'll be checking up on what
they do online consider using a monitoring
program
• Restrict who can contact your child online
most instant messaging services can be
set up to reject messages from unknown
names
• Check cell phone records
review the monthly billing statement for
unknown names or an increase in text messaging
• Choose a generic user or profile name
create a screen or profile name
that does not profile their age, sex or location

• Block unsafe content
turn off explicit lyrics in iTunes (under Preferences)
turn on Google Safe Search
use parental controls on game systems
(PlayStation, Xbox, PSP)
• Ego surf
Look up your name and address and
children's names on Google, Technorati
and other search engines regularly
• Learn the language
learn commonly used phrases such as:
BRB (Be Right Back)
A/S/L (Age/Sex/Location)
POS/P911 (Parents Over Shoulder/Parent Alert)
more abbreviations can be found online
by entering "chat acronyms" into Google
• When things get out of hand
contact your local police department
or Computer Crimes Unit of the Prosecutor's
Office
Source: Monmouth County Prosecutor's Office

Statistics
• 51% of teenage users are online daily
• 62% of parents check up on their
child's Internet usage only 33% of
teens think their parents do so
• 65% of parents and 64% of teens
believe that teens are doing things
online that they would not want their
parents to know about
• 75% of teens use instant messaging
(IM)
• 48% do so on a daily basis
• 39% of teens have played a trick on
someone online by pretending to be
someone else on IM
• 31% of teens have written something
on IM that they wouldn't say to
someone in person
• 25% of teens who go online daily
have had information meant to be
private be forwarded on by the recipient
• 6 in 10 kids online have gotten an
e-mail or IM from a stranger;
more than 1 in 2 have written back
• 1 in 33 kids has been aggressively
solicited to meet their "cyber friend"
in person
• 1 in 4 kids ages 10-17 has been
exposed to unwanted sexual material
online