Fatherhood: A game best played with 100% effort
Church outlines the role of good dads using sports analogies
BY JENNIFER AMATO
Staff Writer

NORTH BRUNSWICK - To distinguish the difference between being just a father and an actual dad, the New Destiny Family Worship Center held a special service and reception to celebrate Father's Day on Sunday, titled "Get in the Game."

The sports-themed service was designed to motivate men to be involved in their children's lives since most males are sports-oriented. The starting point of the game is having a child, but then fathers must deal with the good times and bad, practicing their techniques and working on their parenting skills, much like if they were involved in an athletic competition.

"It's extremely important for dads because of the absenteeism rate in the home. Popular culture believes there is a 60 percent rate of absenteeism of fathers and kids are raised by their mothers. They need to feel the importance of the strength of the families, especially the fathers," Bishop Calvin Enlow said.

Enlow said that due to the pressures of society and the need to find a proper job, men tend to withdraw when they are under pressure and leave instead of taking care of their responsibilities. However, he said that everyone in life struggles to find balance and that "what we're trying to do is equip men to find different avenues to help them understand that the same thing happens to all of us and we try to work through it."

Enlow said the best way to become involved in an estranged relationship is to make initial contact, apologize for not being there, make a commitment to spending more time with the child and then following through. He said men just need to offer their time and support to their children and participate in their lives.

Chris Gadsen, of Jersey City, a relatively new father, sees how much joy that can bring. Having had daughter Chelsea just eight months ago, he said that he tends to her every day when he comes home from work, although he would love to spend even more time with her.

"It feels great. It's a new experience, my first one, and it feels wonderful. I'm enjoying today," he said. "As a new father it is very important to me to be very active and have input in my children's lives, not only there in an active role but to read time to them, give them time and to go out."

He said he is trying hard to foster a different relationship with his baby girl than his father had with him. A fellow member of the church, Risheem Whitten of Piscataway, is trying to do the same thing. A father to 12-year-old Alexandra, 6-year-old Jayde and 2-year-old Ian, Whitten reads to his children, plays basketball and said they are a "big board game family."

"I wanted to give them an upbringing I didn't have," he said. "I think it's important to have people in your family. Especially me, being a police officer, I see a lot of dysfunctional families and a lot of distress and it's mainly because there is no leadership in the family, so I wanted to be an example to my family."

To motivate fathers, the church offered an inspirational service regarding how to positively impact children. In addition, they provided coupons for discounted haircuts, a one-month free family membership to All Sport Academy and baseball-themed portraits at the academy. There was also a celebratory cake and reception after the service.

"I think it is particularly inspiring to see more fathers out in church today and we hope to see more men back in service every week," said Ed Southgate.

For more information about New Destiny, visit www.NDFWC.org or call (732) 422-8850. The church holds service at 1330 Livingston Ave.